There have been a number of times throughout my ministry that I have been asked by inquirers or parishioners if I would be their spiritual father. My answer is always the same: “No, but I am happy to be your pastor and your friend”. Sometimes I explain more fully: “People in parishes don’t need a spiritual father; they need a pastor.” My guess is that my attitude is a common one among parish clergy. And yet despite this our 1998 OCA clergy guidelines (repeated in the 2023 update) affirms that “the priest is the spiritual father of his parish and every parishioner ought to respect him as such”. What is going on?